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Recently my sister asked me which books I recommend, that got me thinking: which books would I have benefited the most of reading 15 years ago?  This post is a response to what I consider to be the top 10 life-changing books that I have read.

“Hear or read something challenging, something instructional, at least thirty minutes a day, every day. You can get along without some meals, but you can’t get along without some ideas, examples and inspiration.” – Jim Rohn

I try to start my day with reading or listening to something:

  • inspirational
  • motivational or
  • instructional.

Even though I listen a lot to podcasts for inspiration and news in my fields, reading books provides a deeper knowledge in a subject. Reading books is like having a conversation with the author.

“The reading of all good books is like conversation with the finest men of past centuries.” ― René Descartes
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The Top 10 books

The list I wished I had 15 years ago.
7 timeless principles to follow and a philosophy of being of service to other people.
 
You can control your thoughts if you want to. Introduce you to NLP a practical framework for controlling your thoughts.
 
atlas
Find your life’s purpose. DO IT. Put yourself first. Individualism is Necessary!
 
Help other people, listen to other people.
Mastermind!
jamesA
your mind is a garden. If you do not take care of it – weeds will grow.
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Tools to escape the non-productive dreamworld of unreturned or painful love.
The world today gives you endless opportunities for working from anywhere in the world and with anything. Automatic. practical tools. Gamechanger!
Nice fable for the power of mind.
Gate opener to social control.

1. Robin Sharma – The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams & Reaching Your Destiny

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I read this book in January 2010 when I was in a dark place in life. It is one of the books I always recommend to everyone I meet. Robin has written a “modern day fable” about creating balance and purpose in life. For me it was filled with “ahas” and created a spark which ignited a deep fire in my person and I started gradually to think about my life in a whole new new. The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari tells the extraordinary story of Julian Mantle, a lawyer forced to confront the spiritual crisis of his out-of-balance life, he starts a life-changing journey that enables him to create a life of passion, purpose and peace.
The book provides 7 timeless principles:
  1. Control your thoughts – ( Master Your Mind Cultivate your mind)  Symbol: Garden
  2. Follow Your Purpose. Symbol: Lighthouse
  3. Practice Kaizen (continual self improvement) Symbol: Sumo Wrestler
  4. Live with Discipline (Symbol: Pink Wire Cable)
  5. Respect Your Time (Symbol: Stopwatch)
  6. Selflessly Serve Others (Symbol: Yellow Roses)
  7.  Embrace the Present (Symbol: Path of Diamonds)
Practical application:
this book inspired me to try to be quite for a full day. Have you tried that? It is very interesting social experiment and it will inform you of all your useless “brain farts” and also get you thinking. Don’t be rude, and only answer questions that is directly asked to you.
Do good deeds daily
“If you try to improve other peoples life, your are raising your own at the same time”
Realise that you will leave this world empty handed.
Simplicity , make your life simple
Your telephone (amongst other things) is a tool for you (you do not always have to have it on and answer – remember our offline post!)
Never compare yourself to others, only yourself
Reflect daily
Be grateful
and many more great lessons on how to be a better person.

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2 Anthony Robbins – Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!
anthonyrobbins
Wake Up and Take Control of Your Life!
Anthony Robbins, the nation’s leader in the science of peak performance, shows you his most effective strategies and techniques for mastering your emotions, your body, your relationships, your finances, and your life. The acknowledged expert in the psychology of change, Anthony Robbins provides a step-by-step program teaching the fundamental lessons of self-mastery that will enable you to discover your true purpose, take control of your life and harness the forces that shape your destiny.
During 2010 I read this book and this is really enlightning and gives you framework for how to RE-Program your mind. Anthony is one of the early giants in a framework known as NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming), which in short is a way of an individual to reprogram thoughts. BY asking questions, thinking in a certain way and re-enforcing positive thoughts instead of negative thoughts.
According to Anthony and NLP there are ONLY “results”. Meaning that if your behaviors and thoughts right now are giving you a certain results it is neither negative or positive, it is just RESULTS. If you want a different result, we have to change how we thing and act. For instance: you are overweight right now, that is a result. Results can be change. A new result could be “loose weight”.
So many lessons to be learned in this book, for example: in communication the results you get is 7% words, 38% tonality, and 55% physiology and body language. What should you practice to improve your communication skills?
A great thing with this book is that if you want the success that other people has had, simply mimic their behaviours. Success leaves clues. A great question to ask yourself often: What would you do right now if you knew you couldn’t fail? What would happen? What is stopping you right now? HOW do you know this?
Target: MOVE your thoughts away from the problems and towards RESULTS
Submodalities are patterns in your thought,and you can control them – for instance if you have a bad memory of something – lets say swimming, you could reprogram your thoughts – for example every time you think of water – you see sharks and drowning vividly. Stop that thought. Freeze it, Zoom out. Make the water calm, blue, inviting. ANd so on . Questions to ask: color or white? Far away or close? Associated memory (from your own eyes) or dissacitioted (as an ousider looking in)
Metaprograms: Patterns for what we are paying attention to. All behaviors are either to achieve something pleasurable or AVOID something painful (simple huh!?) :) We move TOWARDS or away from somethin
A great question regarding metaprograms is: HOW do you know that you have done a good job or not? Do you need external validation – example: good job! or do you know yourself?
This “need” for internal of external validation is called frame of reference. We (as leaders) should always strive for INTERNAL frame of reference, however a balance of internal and external.- . For instance when learning a new skill it is useful to be open enough to be influenced by someone who knows more about it than you.
do you have inner
Great follow up book to this one is Introduction to NLP by Joseph o Connor and John Seymour and sleight of mouth by robert dilts
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3 Ayn Rand – Atlas shrugged
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This is the only novel book on this top 10 list. Written in 1957 novel by Ayn Rand. This is Rand’s fourth and last novel, it was also her longest. Atlas Shrugged includes elements of science fiction,mystery, and romance and it contains Rand’s most extensive statement of Objectivism in any of her works of fiction. Objectivisim is a philosophy that human knowledge and values are objective.
“My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.
—Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged”
The book describes a dark United States,  where many of societys most successful industrialists dissapppears.
The title is a reference to Atlas, a Titan described in the novel as “the giant who holds the world on his shoulders”.
 The significance of this reference appears in a conversation between the characters Francisco d’Anconia and Hank Rearden, in which d’Anconia asks Rearden what advice he would give Atlas upon seeing that “the greater effort, the heavier the world bore down on his shoulders”. With Rearden unable to answer, d’Anconia gives his own response: “To shrug”.
The book makes you think in a new way and to questions a number of philosophical questions reason, individualism, capitalism, and governmental limitations.
You must be prepared, when you read this novel, that you will start to question the root of your current convictions, which can be a hard thing to do.
Great follow up – AYn Rands The Fountainhead
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4 Dale Carnegie – How to win friends and influence people
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Released in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 15 million copies. Its principles are timeless, will help you achieve your maximum potential in the complex and competitive modern age.
Learn the six ways to make people like you, the twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking, and the nine ways to change people without arousing resentment Carnegie was an early proponent of what is now called responsibility assumption, although this only appears minutely in his written work. One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people’s behavior by changing one’s reaction to them.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
  • Become genuinely interested in other people.
  • Smile.
  • Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  • Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  • Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
  • Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking[edit]
  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  • Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re Wrong.”
  • If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  • Begin in a friendly way.
  • Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
  • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  • Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
  • Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  • Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  • Appeal to the nobler motives.
  • Dramatize your ideas.
  • Throw down a challenge.
  • Warren Buffett took the Dale Carnegie course “How to Win Friends and Influence People” when he was 20 years old, and to this day has the diploma in his office.
Good follow up: Robert Cialdini – Influence
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Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get. Dale Carnegie
“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy. “
— Dale Carnegie, motivational expert
5 Napoleon Hill – Think and Grow Rich
thinkandgrow
Think and Grow Rich has been called the “Granddaddy of All Motivational Literature.” It was the first book to ask, “What makes a winner?” The man who asked and listened for the answer, Napoleon Hill, is now counted in the top ranks of the world’s winners himself. The most famous of all teachers of success spent “a fortune and the better part of a lifetime of effort” to produce the “Law of Success” philosophy that forms the basis of his books and that is so powerfully summarized in this one.
In the original Think and Grow Rich, published in 1937, Hill draws on stories of Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and other millionaires of his generation to illustrate his principles.
The text of Think and Grow Rich is founded on Hill’s earlier work The Law of Success, the result of more than twenty years of research based on Hill’s close association with a large number of individuals who achieved great wealth during their lifetimes.
At Andrew Carnegie’s bidding, Hill studied the characteristics of these achievers and developed 16 “laws” of success meant to be applied by people to achieve success.
Think and Grow Rich condenses these laws further and provides the reader with 13 principles in the form of a philosophy of personal achievement.
International Speaker Mark Victor Hansen says time has proven 2 of the laws/principles to be most important:
 1) The MasterMind principle/process and
2) “Know very clearly where you want to go.”
It is noted in the book that an individual with desire, faith and persistence can reach great heights by eliminating negative energy and thoughts and focusing on the greater goals in hand.
The 13 “steps” listed in the book are:
1. Desire
2. Faith
3. Autosuggestion (Autosuggestion is a psychological technique that was developed by apothecary Émile Coué at the beginning of the 20th century. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autosuggestion)
4. Specialized Knowledge
5. Imagination
6. Organized Planning
7. Decision
8. Persistence
9. Power of the Master Mind  (flawd mastermind)
10. The Mystery of Sex Transmutation
11. The Subconscious Mind
12. The Brain
13. The Sixth Sense
What I really learned from this book is the importance of mastermind and positive mindset.
“Every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” —Napoleon Hill
Good alternative or follow up: Napolean hill – The law of success
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6 James Allen – As a man thinketh
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Allen was 15 when his father, a businessman, was robbed and murdered. He left school to work full-time in several British manufacturing firms to help support the family. He later married Lily L. Allen and became an executive secretary for a large company.
At age 38, inspired by the writings of Leo Tolstoy, he retired from employment. Allen — along with his wife and their daughter, Nohra — moved to a small cottage in Ilfracombe, Devon, England to pursue a simple life of contemplation. There he wrote for nine years, producing 19 works. He also edited and published a magazine, “The Light of Reason”.
Allen’s books illustrate the use of the power of thought to increase personal capabilities. Although he never achieved great fame or wealth, his works continue to influence people around the world, including the New Thought movement.
Allen’s most famous book, As a Man Thinketh, was published in 1902. It is now considered a classic self-help book. Its underlying premise is that noble thoughts make a noble person, while lowly thoughts make a miserable person.
Following his death in 1912, his wife continued publishing the magazine under the name, “The Epoch”.
The mind guides our footsteps as we progress along the pathway of life. Purity of mind leads inevitably to purity of life, to the precious love and understanding that should control our everyday acts and attitudes towards friends and foes.
But where must one look for guidance? How does one achieve purity of mind that alone brings happiness and confidence?
The author offers his clear answers in this book As A Man Thinketh. His words have helped millions for more than a century–and they continue to point the true way to a better life for a troubled humanity.
“Out of a clean heart comes a clean life and a clean body,” James Allen writes. “out of a defiled mind proceeds a defiled life and a corrupt body.”
Too many mortals strive to improve only their wordly position–and too few seek spiritual betterment. Such is the problem James Allen faced in his own time. The ideas he found in his inner-most heart after great searching guided him as they will guide you.(less)
A must read – since it is so short.
basically the lesson is: you become what you think and especially how you think. I try to read this at least once a year to gain clarity and remove myself from my negative thoughts (in my opinion, negative thoughts are the easy thoughts, for instance jelousy, envy, hate) think instead abundance and also I like the analogy of your mind as a garden. If you make no basic maintanence of it weeds will grow ever so slowly and then clutter your mind.
 “Great power arises from doing little things unselfishly, wisely and perfectly.” James Allen
A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life. ~James Allen
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7 Debora Phillips, Robert Judd – How to fall out of love
htfool
Love is the most beautiful of feelings, except when it turns to pain. Great book for when are hurt emotionally. But also serves as an reminder that relationships are fragile. great read. and tons of directly practically applicable exercises to get out of vulnerable state and live your own life.
The book is based on psychotherapy which suggest that almost all human behaviors are learned and can be unlearned. We can change behavior tha causes pain.
Behavior therapy weakens behavior that causes you anxiety or hinders your ability to function comforatbly in your own environment. And it strengchen the behavior that helps you pursue the life you want to live.
Emotional habits ARE RESISTANT to logical arguments or good advice (unfortunately), and the reason for this is that something that is learned emotionally cannot be dealt with on an intellectual level.
Unadaptive behavior is behaviors like:
  • Jealousy
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of intimacy
  • Fear of authority figures
  • over eating
Anxiety is the CENTRAL component of much unadaptive behavior. REMEMBER: ANXIETY is a LEARNED BEHAVIOR! as a result from old experiences. This is the reason that you automatically get anxiety in certain situaiont.
ELIMINATION of anxiety is most easily accomplished by inhibiting the anxiety with a competing response!
example = evoke a response (deep relaxation) in the precense of a stimulus that provokes anxiety (crisicisims from your father) – this will weaken the bond .
Competing thoughts will berak the chan.
The books primary function! Stop the pain of NOT being loved.
Virtues of behavior therapy:
Brevety
action
a systematic step by step program to reach goals
Basically it gives you a couple of tools to set yourself straight after a bad breakup. It is truly remarkable book and in my life I have the pleasure (not really pleasure) to consult this book and it is amazing how something can be expereinced as the end of the world almost, but after some time not evewn the proportions.
2 great takeaways – you have the tools to shorten the

For those of us lucky/unluck to have feel love for another person that is not feeling it back – we know that it is one of the most painful and excrutiating and painfull experience it is. And especially in the beginning – after a break up once the shock has settled and you wake up and realize that regardless of what you do that person will not be a part of your life anymore. it is TOUGH! Why? well parts of it is that rejection hurts. you wonder if it is your fault and how you could have done things differentluy and a normal reaction is off cours to try to fix it. But normally it cannot be fixed and you realise this intelligently – but it is easier said than done – usually you will consider this experience one of the most valuable lessons in life – but it does not feel like that right now. You just want to get him/her back. However time heals all wounds. This book I truly recommend to shorten the time period and continue moving on and creating more healthy relationships with people that loves you back. Soo here it goes: How to fall out of love in 10 steps . side note – once you practice this you will improve everything and since this is a framework it is comforting that it is a proven process and IT has WORKED for other persons.

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2. förnekelse – kämpa tillbaka –
3 förbannad och ilska
4. acceptans
5. gå vidare

and great takeaway:

Graduated calming techniques

Graduated calming is relearning on a neurological and emotional level. It changes your thoughts, feelings, perceptions, sensations and, most important, your anxiety levels. Graduated calming takes you slowly, step by step, up what behavior therapist call an anxiety (or any other negative emotion) hierarchy, as first described by Dr. Wolpe. In this chapter, the negative emotion that will be reduced is jealousy. You begin with deep muscle relaxation, imagine a situation that causes you some jealousy, and then return to deep relaxation.
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8 Tim Ferris – 4hour workweek
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What do you do? Tim Ferriss has trouble answering the question. Depending on when you ask this controversial Princeton University guest lecturer, he might answer: “I race motorcycles in Europe.” “I ski in the Andes.” “I scuba dive in Panama.” “I dance tango in Buenos Aires.”
He has spent more than five years learning the secrets of the New Rich, a fast-growing subculture who has abandoned the “deferred-life plan” and instead mastered the new currencies-time and mobility-to create luxury lifestyles in the here and now. Whether you are an overworked employee or an entrepreneur trapped in your own business, this book is the compass for a new and revolutionary world. Join Tim Ferriss as he teaches you: ?
  • How to outsource your life to overseas virtual assistants for $5 per hour and do whatever you want ?
  •  How blue-chip escape artists travel the world without quitting their jobs ?
  • How to eliminate 50% of your work in 48 hours using the principles of a forgotten Italian economist ?
  • How to trade a long-haul career for short work bursts and freuent “mini-retirements” ?
  • What the crucial difference is between absolute and relative income ?
  • How to train your boss to value performance over presence, or kill your job (or company) if it’s beyond repair ?
  • What automated cash-flow “muses” are and how to create one in 2 to 4 weeks ?
  • How to cultivate selective ignorance-and create time-with a low-information diet ?
  • What the management secrets of Remote Control CEOs are ?
  • How to get free housing worldwide and airfare at 50-80% off ?
  • How to fill the void and create a meaningful life after removing work and the office(less)
4-Hour Workweek Video Summary + Highlights | Tim Ferriss
One big takeaway – stop caring what other people think! One way of training on that is to – lay down in the middle of a strees
9 Paulo Coelho – The Alchemist
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First published in 1988
Paulo Coelho’s enchanting novel has inspired a devoted following around the world. This story, dazzling in its powerful simplicity and inspiring wisdom, is about an Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago who travels from his homeland in Spain to the Egyptian desert in search of a treasure buried in the Pyramids. Along the way he meets a Gypsy woman, a man who calls himself king, and an alchemist, all of whom point Santiago in the direction of his quest.
No one knows what the treasure is, or if Santiago will be able to surmount the obstacles along the way. But what starts out as a journey to find worldly goods turns into a discovery of the treasure found within. Lush, evocative, and deeply humane, the story of Santiago is an eternal testament to the transforming power of our dreams and the importance of listening to our hearts.
An allegorical novel, The Alchemist follows a young Andalusian shepherd named Santiago in his journey to Egypt, after having a recurring dream of finding treasure there.The book is an international bestseller. According to AFP, it has sold more than 65 million copies in 56 different languages, becoming one of the best-selling books in history and setting the Guinness World Record for most translated book by a living author
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An old king tells Santiago, “when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true”. This is the core of the novel’s philosophy and a motif that plays all throughout Coelho’s writing in The Alchemist
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10 Neil Strauss – The GAME

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Extremely interesting book. Not mainly because it establish a systematic approach to attract women but also shows that it is possible for anyone to change their own reality through porpuseful challanges to ones own self. NLP was first introduced to me here, also the world of Personal Development. The attraction rules are interesting but a sidenote. Neil has also written a follow up to this book called the rules of the game with more tangible tips of how to overcome social shyness and become the person you want to be regardless if it is attracting women or just getting better confidence. Very recommended

Mainly written for men who want to improve their skills with picking up women. However this book was the eye opener for me that started me on a path to realizing that intentional reading for aquiring skills and bedomming a better person is very much possible. Active reading and practical application of the skills is key. This book introduced me to NLP, and pretty much all the other books directly or indirectly on this list. A book that started with curiosity and very low expectations opened up my eyes to personal development and a new way of thinking.  I think this book is important to read for both sexes but especially for men. It gives explanations that if you put a system in place (or realise that you have one) you can improve your social skills tremendously .
To summarize: Women is attracted to status and social validation
All human prolem is in on of these three areas: health, well-being or relationships
You learn things like ESP.
Display higher value – DHV
Fake time constraint.
Anxiey eliminated mos easily bya a competeing response.
Alltid leva i sin egen verklighet. Alla andra är bara gäster i min värld!
SPELET inledaren, tidsbegränsning , växelspela med misantroperna – retas med tartget
332 Stenar mot guld ? – Tjej uppmärksamhet känslomässig konstant
336 tack
Sänker man kvinnans självkänsla så sökerh hon bekräftelse
Gör henne svartsjuk – Dragen till en
Yttre stimulus utlöser en specifik känsla eller reaktion.
446; hantera förväntningar – berätta innan hur allvarlig man är med förhållandet -varken för lite lr för mycket.
Hunögon – kvinnans transartade ögon när hon känner sig dragen till den man som talar till henne.
BEST:
Skönhet är vanligt, något man föds med eller betalar för. Det endsa som räknas är vad man gör av sig själv. Det som räknas är en positiv livsinställning och en sympatisk personlighet.
Gå in i deras värld och visa auktoritet.
Girls reakt on numbers: test, psykologisksa lekar, spådoms skontst och cold reading.
SOM MISSBRUKARE får gratis droger!
This book is also a great story where we follow Neils real adventure from being not being able to socialize and he transforms himself to the best picku artist in the world. Very interesting characters.
Add on books: Robert Cialdini, influenc. Matt ridley the red quen nancy friday my secret garden , brian tracy psychology of success, Serge Kahili King – The Huna Way
“In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn’t fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. This isn’t because the universe is cruel. It’s because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don’t appreciate things that fall into our laps.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists“Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business or a hobby.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists“One of the things I’d learned … was how to take a compliment. Just say, “Thank you.” It’s the only response a confident person can make.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists“I want to learn martial arts,” he said docilely, “so when I want to kill
someone, I can do something about it.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
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Almost on the list / bonus reads>
Almost on the list:
The secret
Influence
Stephen Covey – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Maxwell Maltz –  Psycho Cybernetics
The Law of success
Brian Tracy Psychology of Success
Brian Tracy Accellarated Learning
Stephen Covey – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Stephen Covey – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
7habits
In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen R. Covey presents a holistic, integrated, principle-centered approach for solving personal and professional problems. With penetrating insights and pointed anecdotes, Covey reveals a step-by-step pathway for living with fairness, integrity, service, and human dignity — principles that give us the security to adapt to change and the wisdom and power to take advantage of the opportunities that change creates.(
Maxwell Maltz –  Psycho Cybernetics
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Positive wisdom and helpful insights on how to be a successful personHappiness and success are habits. So are failure and misery. But negative habits can be changed–and Psycho-Cybernetics shows you how!This is your personal audio guide to the amazing power of Psycho-Cybernetics–a program based on one of the world s classic self-help books, a multimillion-copy bestseller proven effective by readers worldwide. Presenting positive attitude as a means for change, Maltz s teaching has the ring of common sense.
Psycho-Cybernetics-is the original text that defined the mind/body connection the concept that paved the way for most of today s personal empowerment programs. Turn crises into creative opportunities, dehypnotize yourself from false beliefs, and celebrate new freedom from fear and guilt.Testimonials and stories are interspersed with advice from Maltz, as well as techniques for relaxation and visualization. Dr. Maxwell Maltz teaches you his techniques of emotional surgery –the path to a dynamic new self-image and self-esteem and to achieving the success and happiness you deserve!